Howard Stribbell, Head of School
Raising children doesn’t come with a manual. Well, sure you can probably buy one online and friends and family always have lots of “valuable” advice, but there’s no denying that raising children (or teaching students) is daunting. This is highlighted even more so as our children move into adolescence.
Suddenly our children only seem to think about themselves, they over-react and are often moody, they make bad choices and live for the moment. Often it leaves parents wondering what’s happening to their child, what should they do about it and when will it stop. We know it has something to do with adolescence, but which behaviours are normal? More importantly, how do we help them learn the empathy, critical thinking skills and self-confidence they will need for adulthood?
Sarah-Jayne Blakemore, a cognitive neuroscientist, shares her research comparing the developing adolescent brain with the brain of adults.
This research is very interesting. It suggests that even we find it much easier to follow a rule than to understand someone else’s perspectives. As teens, it is even harder to follow rules and very difficult to accurately understand another person’s perspective.
What does it mean for families and schools? First of all, it’s normal for adolescents to be moody, to be overly self-conscious, to take risks and to be centered. However, adolescence is also an essential time for us to help our children and develop students’ self-confidence, empathy towards others and to develop critical thinking skills.
Families can help by ensuring that their children gets lots of support and guidance. Ensure that your children can connect with peers, but still have opportunities to connect with family. Adolescents need structure to help combat their tendency to procrastinate and make rash choices. They may say that they need you less, but they need you more now than ever. They do need space to work things out on their own (probably more than you feel comfortable giving), but they need your support and guidance as well.
Teachers can assist by providing students with opportunities to explore others’ points of view through inquiry and role playing. Schools should create community outreach opportunities so that students can give back. Challenges and expectations need to be developmentally appropriate. Exercises should capitalize on adolescents’ desire for socializing (ie. group work), but provide adequate time for self-reflection.
Adolescence is an essential learning time for children and students. Working together, we can help all of them navigate this stage in their lives and acquire the skills they will need to be successful in adulthood.